My Self-Hosting Strategy: Practicing Digital Sovereignty with Sanity

Introduction: The Sustainable Tech Stack

Over time, I've relentlessly experimented with self-hosting various services, particularly those in the Fediverse. Through sheer trial, error, and inevitable autistic burnout from complexity, I’ve arrived at a crucial realization: not everything that can be self-hosted should be. This reflection clarifies my strategy, focusing on sustainable power over exhaustive labor, essential for an IT student who manages chronic mental illness.

The Ideal vs. The Sustainable Reality

I began with the exciting, almost moralistic ideal that because software is open source, I should host it myself. The promise spoke to my core need for control and ethical autonomy:

• I own my data.
• I control my digital presence.
• I do not depend on exploitative corporations.

However, the reality of running a humane-tech setup is far messier than the code:

• Federation is not free—it creates server strain, rapid disk bloat from unwanted content, and unexpected moderation burdens.
• Running a public instance—even a small one—demands attention for spam, storage issues, federation bugs, and performance headaches that drain my limited energy.
• Self-hosting doesn't just grant power; it demands a responsibility I wasn't always ready for.

The profound lesson learned is that freedom must include the freedom to set healthy boundaries and to not take on more technical and emotional labor than I can sustainably manage.

Lessons from the Fediverse and Fragmentation

The Trap of Complexity

I tried hosting everything: Mastodon, Lemmy, Pixelfed, Mitra, WriteFreely. Running multiple federated apps simultaneously created massive resource strain on my server (my YunoHost ecosystem) and, more importantly, severely drained my attention span and focus—a costly distraction for an IT student.

The Cost of Fragmentation

The biggest lessons came from Mastodon. Trying to run a broad instance led to my server ballooning (hitting 90GB out of 100GB in a day) from irrelevant, federated data. I also realized that constantly migrating accounts and starting new instances exhausted my true online friends. I learned that federation creates technical and emotional debt, especially when things break or when the pressure to moderate conflicts with my need for peace. I don't need digital noise; I need knowledge and stability.

The Deeper Realization

My contribution to the open-source movement and the Fediverse does not require me to be an infrastructure slave. I can support the ecosystem ethically by using existing, well-moderated instances, donating to the developers and trusted admins, and contributing code or documentation in ways that fit my specific energy level and skills.

My Strategy for Sustainable Sovereignty

What I'm Keeping: The Essentials

1. A Minimal Mastodon Instance: I will maintain one Mastodon instance strictly for myself. It will be configured in single-user mode, with public timelines off and registrations closed. This serves as a private, resilient digital journal and reflective space, with federation strictly limited using allowed_domains to avoid toxic relays and media bloat.
2. Email via YunoHost: The core functionality of my self-hosted YunoHost system is the mail server. This is critical: it ensures my communication backbone is entirely within my control, allowing me to engage with the broader internet without running every application node myself.

What I'm Letting Go Of

I am actively shedding the obligation to host everything. I will not self-host large, resource-intensive federated applications I don't use daily or can't sustain (like Lemmy, Pixelfed, or redundant CMS apps). I will not run any open instance, because I do not owe anyone the unpaid labor of 24/7 moderation, maintenance, or abuse handling simply because I possess the technical ability.

My Current Stack and Philosophy

Hosting (On a 8GB RAM / 100GB VPS)

• Mastodon (Solo Mode): For resilient, private reflection.
• YunoHost Core System: The foundation for my self-hosted ethics.
• Email Server: My sovereign communication channel.
• Knowledge/Utility Apps: BookStack or WonderCMS (for documentation) and utilities like HedgeDoc (for collaborative Markdown) and LibreSpeed (for monitoring).

The Philosophy Moving Forward

My server is no longer a playground for proving competence; it is a meticulously managed garden that sustains my intellectual and emotional health. I am hosting intentionally, not exhaustively.

I refuse to perform digital sovereignty for the approval of others. I practice it with self-care, discipline, and sanity. My server must empower my learning and activism, not become another source of exhaustion.

Revived from an original blog entry draft, first published on July 22, 2025.